12:40 a.m. - 2014-01-24
married life
Thank you for all the well-wishes. I am very happy. I think maybe I missed being married (when it was good) more than I ever missed Matt. I like that we can make plans years in then future, and plan our retirement. I like that she and my kids can feel safer forming relationships independent of me. I like that someone wants me enough to marry me. I like that someone wants to wake up with my ugly mug on the pillow next to her not just tomorrow or next week but forever.
I have discovered that my train wreck of a first marriage hasn't altered my faith in 'happily ever after.' My marriage didn't fail because I changed my mind; it failed because he failed. Maybe A will get sick of me too but at least I know that I am not the quitting kind. (I don't think she is either.)
A says she feels "more secure now." I like that. I also get a vicarious kick out of her telling a couple of her jerky "friends," who had the audacity to tell A that she will probably always be single. I asked A if it she'll get crap because I'm a former straight woman with two kids (and look mildly like Barbie to boot). She said, "You get extra points if you land a straight-looking one."
C. doesn't know the difference but Mar has been more affectionate with A since the wedding. She sits in A's lap if her brother is occupying mine, which led me to joke, "See guys, as you got bigger I couldn't get you a bigger mom, so I got you an annex."
"Great," says A, "now they're going to call me 'Annex.'" Since this is fairly close to her real name, it's a possibility.
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