9:32 a.m. - 2014-03-12
Guilty
A. is having her dog S. put down on saturday. S is 14 and her health is failing. She is always cold and she doesn't seem to enjoy anything anymore. A and the vet think it is the right thing to do. A is devastated.
I feel guilty because I am not, particularly. I like S., but I am not that attached to her. Actually she is probably my favorite of A's pets. But there is part of me that is secretly relieved to have one less barking, peeing animal around. I grew up on a farm and I have no desire to live in one, in a small house, in adulthood. I like animals but almost all of a's animals are bad-tempered, incontinent and completely spoiled. (Now I sound like the wicked stepmother.) So while I feel terrible for A and I will miss S., I am not all that upset. If at all.
Of course I do feel terrible about A. S will be fine in doggie heaven. A, I'm not so sure about. She starts crying almost every time she looks at S. THAT is definitely cutting me up.
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