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2:59 p.m. - 2014-01-31
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Discussed the CPIP with my clinical instructor today. Made her aware that I don't believe there are grounds to give it to me (in what I hope was a nonconfrontational manner) and cited the student handbook. It appeared that some of the facts I cited were new to her, and she said she will talk to Kathy M, the driving force behind giving me the CPIP, and get back to me. I told her that since I don't believe that Kathy has grounds to give me the CPIP, I will follow the appeal process if she does. And I briefly outlined the steps I plan to take, so she and Kathy know that I mean business and giving me the CPIP will result in the time-consuming appeals process, whether or not they ultimately prevail. Hopefully Kathy will decide it's not worth the hassle.

I truly believe that I didn't do anything wrong and that Kathy is basically out to get me. I hate to say that because it sounds so ridiculous, but the fact is, you can be 50 years old and basically a bully at heart.

I think Kathy has disliked me since our first adviser-advisee meeting, during which she apparently expected me to be stressed out at taking both microbiology and nursing at the same time, and gave me a lecture about how I should have completed micro before nursing school started. At the time, my microbiology average was 104 and my nursing average was 96, which I told her (and that I could handle taking both just fine). I think this pissed her off -- probably also that I finished the semester with pretty much the same average in both classes; I know I had the highest average in micro and I may have in nursing as well. It's like she wanted to see me fail so she could be proven right, and I didn't, so now she's looking to get me.

I think she also dislikes me because she is a big woman and I'm a size 0 and (objectively), fairly pretty ... on top of having a 4.0, a genius IQ and a refusal to be bullied. Over the years I have had many people tell me I seem "too perfect" and it bothers them. Obviously this is crap because I have a ton of problems and I'm crazy, but I think who I am and my "actually I have a 104 in micro and a 96 in nursing so I think I'm handling things just fine" is why she's trying to give me a CPIP now.

Just ranting ... I feel better now. Obviously this upsets me. I try to be perfect, and being told I fucked up really bothers me, even if it's unfounded.



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