2:36 p.m. - 2013-12-19
names
Divorce should be final tomorrow morning. Spent the morning in court hammering out legal language. Neither of us had a lawyer because we weren't really disagreeing on anything and we're both cheap and we're both arrogant enough to think we could do it ourselves. (Because we are super-smart. Mmhmm.)
And we're both control freaks ...
Anyhow. I think I am going to ask for my name back. I wasn't going to, because that felt like defeat, and I wanted the same name as my kids, and it's one damn thing he can't take away from me. And I hated myself from childhood -- the nerd, that name ...
Hard to explain. I saw five couples get divorced today and all of the women kept their married names. I hate being part of the crowd, so I started thinking ... maybe I should go back ...
Driving home, I realized that it could be the confidence boost I need. My married name is Italian, hard to spell and impossible to pronounce. It looks ridiculous with my first name, which is Irish. But most of all, it's a lousy brand name, and I'm a writer. I've always written under my maiden name, Clark, and I probably will keep doing so. But why not just make it official and not have to worry about explaining to everyone that it's not really my name? Why not just make it my name again?
Everything I've ever achieved in life, other than having kids, I've done under my name, not his. All my academic achievements, my journalism career.... if I ever need to separate my personal and public life again, like I thought I did when I took M's name, I can just take A's. Hers is easy to pronounce and spell.
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