Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

6:30 p.m. - 2015-01-30
Confirmed this week I am going to owe about 2,500 in federal taxes on my alimony, don't know how much to the state, and my car needs $900 worth of work to pass the state emissions test.

This is seriously pissing me off although I had been anticipating both major expenses ... I guess I had been hoping I was mistaken. I have the money but I really don't feel like parting with it. This is the first time in my life I've had any significant savings -- I've been putting in about 1,500 a month so this will set me back about three months. Serenity prayer be damned -- just because I know this is something I cannot change doesn't mean it doesn't royally piss me off.

I graduate in May and I have to get a job ... I am terrified it will take a long time. My alimony ends in June or July, not sure which. I was expecting to still have a significant amount of child support but that may change too, since Matt took a buyout from his company last fall and hasn't landed another job.

We'll have a year during which we'll hopefully both be working, and then I have to put A. through two years of vet tech school. I think I am not very happy about this, though I have told her she deserves to do what she wants and I will do what I can to get her there. This is the right thing to say/do, just like paying taxes and getting my car fixed, but it doesn't mean I'm happy about it. I am basically a selfish person. My conscience knows what the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean my heart's on board.

I am dreading the fact that her animals will get sick (it's inevitable; they're old) and I will end up paying for their horrifically expensive vet care because, well, that's the right thing to do too. Even if I think the amount money she spends on her animals, all of whom I hate, is obscene. I hate her animals, I hate living with them, I hate her obsession with them, and I hate the fact that I am probably going to end up paying for them.



previous - next


about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!