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7:16 a.m. - 2013-05-16
cop in da house?
One final down, one to go.

I think I did well on yesterday's, although I won't know anytime soon because it's not one of those machine-scored ones. Tomorrow's my A&P lecture final, which is 25 percent of my grade and which I really need to do well on to keep my A. Pressure, pressure ... I suppose that but for my pride, it doesn't matter that much. I need a C+ in the class to keep my nursing school acceptance, but I don't think I could drag my grade down to a C+ even if I flunked the final.

A thinks she wants to be a cop; she has talked about it for a while now and she has ordered the books on passing the written test and the oral boards ... I promised her I'll start running with her when finals are done.

I think ... let's see, can I think clearly here? I can't think of anything sexier than my 5'2" girlfriend arresting bad guys. I feel guilty about this because I know being a cop is dangerous, and I shouldn't want her to do anything dangerous, but I think she would be great at it, and I think she would be so f'ing hot in a uniform, looking forbidding. I spent a lot of time with cops as a reporter -- most of them male cops, of course -- and either consequently or concurrently, I have a thing for men in uniform. Women in uniform? My girlfriend in uniform? Umm, not a bad thing ....

I could never be a cop because I'm sure I wouldn't pass the background; I don't have a criminal record but I was locked up in the looney bin five times in my teens and 20s, not to mention that I've probably gotten a half-dozen tickets for expired car registrations and similar chronic disrepect for the nitty-gritty details of legality. A, on the other hand, is squeaky clean -- 31 years of law-abiding, bill-paying, reliably-working, home-owning, mental-health-professional-avoiding, drug-eschewing respectability. I'm sure she's never, ever driven a car with an expired registration; she'd walk if it came to that.

I also really want her to do it for more altruistic reasons than the uniform -- ie she hates her job and she's bored, and I think she'd really enjoy being a cop. It's a public service that doesn't require friendliness -- perfect, because she is a really, really good person but she's no fan of customer service. It would be interesting, and A is way too smart to do the same thing every day. And you get to actually DO SOMETHING about the assholes of the world, and I know it bothers her now that she really can't. Some people really don't care about the rest of the world -- most, it seems like. A is not one of those people. I think she would be a great cop.

The only downside, besides that it's dangerous, is that I wouldn't be able to indulge my fantasy of the past several years of someday smoking a few joints again. I am not a big pot fan, but, since I don't drink and hopefully never will again, I have indulged in fantasies over the past 5-plus years about getting stoned. I never seem to find a convenient opportunity and a person to get weed from at the same time, so I've just kept postponing it and fantasizing about it. Damn, now I'll have to start fantasizing about smoking pot when we retire.



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