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11:15 a.m. - 2013-03-24
back to normal
Our discussion of A's week in Alaska watching her grandmother die go something like this:

Me: "So, are you going to tell me about your trip?"

Her: "No."

While she was there we e-mailed and talked on the phone several times a day -- about practically everything but the matter at hand. This continues to be the case now that she's back.

I would want to talk about it, but I am not A. She seems to find refuge in surrounding herself with good things -- her pets, me, my kids, extra-cheese pizza. I expect she will probably fall apart when she gets the next (and inevitable) notification that her grandma is back in the hospital and not likely to come out alive. A. knew when she left Alaska that she'll never see her grandmother again, but I don't think anything can really prepare you for the death of someone you love.

I am selfishly just glad she's back. I'm much less panicked about food and my life doesn't feel like such a trainwreck. I have something to look forward to at the end of the day, and someone to have coffee with in the morning. I like that.


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