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3:06 p.m. - 2013-03-17
control freak meets 4,000 miles
Dropped A off at Logan in Boston last night and she finally made it to Alaska THIS AFTERNOON after innummerable delays. Since I dropped her off I have been miserable which I have no right to be but I am.

At times like this my I'm-the-oldest-of-four-yes-I'm-a-control-freak tendencies surface and I HATE it that I can't fix things -- not that I could when she was here but now she is literally in a polar region almost halfway around the world from me and that makes things a WEE bit more out-of-control.

A's best friend from Alaska was supposed to come stay with her for a couple of days -- A is mostly there to see her grandmother, who is dying rapidly of kidney cancer, but at least N. was supposed to come join her and make the whole trip less awful. A. was really looking forward to seeing, and she didn't tell me that Nicole had cancelled though she knew it Thursday night, I think.

I talked to her last night when she was still waiting for her delayed flight and counting down the days till she can come back to reassure her -- "And then on Monday Nic's coming, and you'll have her for a couple days..."

"Nic's not coming," A said.

"She WHAT?!!"

It is not OK with me when people hurt A., really not OK, and I suppose that is what I'm most upset about. I sent her to Alaska thinking Nicole was going to take care of her and then Nicole bails and I'm left in Connecticut feeling helpless. Of course I am e-mailing A. And talking to her. And she is of course a Big Tough 5'2" Alaskan Lesbian so she's just fine anyway. But she's also 4,000 miles away.

I can't say, "Hang on, I'll be right there."



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