Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

6:50 p.m. - 2013-02-01
small breakdown
So now there's some fucking idiot holed up in a bunker in Alabama with a kid he took off a school bus -- he decided to have a standoff with the government so he boarded a schoolbus, shot the driver and grabbed a kid to hold hostage during his little standoff.

More convenient than buying eggs at the fucking grocery store, huh? So schools and schoolbuses are the new place to go if you've got a beef with the government and the world. You don't mail razor blades to the IRS, you don't blow up a federal building, you don't shoot a cop, you don't go postal.

You go to a school and kill some kids.

Now I'm starting to seriously wonder if I should homeschool my kids just to keep them safe. No, I'm seriously having a small-scale nervous breakdown. I'm not functioning at all right now. I skipped my class. My house is a disaster. I can't concentrate, study or think.

It's a month since some complete fucking dirtbag killed a classroom full of first-graders at a school not far from where I live, a month that most of the people I know in this state (including my spouse) were intimately involved in covering the shooting horrors, kid profiles and funerals, and a month that I have spend studiously avoiding information that will freak me out. It's not working.

My daughter would be devastated if I pulled her out of school. As for me, home-schooling is way, way outside of my current five-year plan. So am I just too selfish to keep my daughter safe? Or is the unselfish thing to keep her life normal and not ruled by fear?

I guess I'll know the answer when she survives to 18-- or doesn't.

I don't know.



previous - next


about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!