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8:34 a.m. - 2012-12-21
another reason
Matt is reminding me yet again of all the reasons I don't want to be married to him. I asked him to scan and send a document to me with his smartphone yesterday morning -- I needed it ASAP -- and he does so six hours later and only scans part of the pages. How is this helpful to me? I ask him very nicely to do it again; he says, "Oh sure, right away," and it's the next morning and he still hasn't sent it. OK, obviously I shouldn't have asked him for this favor. I am trying not to be paranoid here, but how fucking hard is it to take a couple of pictures with a smartphone -- that show the whole page you're scanning -- and e-mail them? How much time out of his busy day does it take?

My career, and now my school career, were never of any importance to him. He made more money, so career was just his wife's little diversion to him. No matter that I was extremely good at what I did; people at work appreciated that but my husband never did. Sure, he'd SAY I was smart and really good at what I did. His actions, like taking a job in another state without consulting me just as I was starting to make my mark in the state we lived in, showed he didn't think my career was important.

It's no surprise that I went into the relationship confident and self-directed and independent and by the time he walked out, I felt stupid, untalented and basically incapable of surviving on my own.

A. is not like M, thank God. She is responsible and good at what she does, but she's not a workaholic. She doesn't treat me like my life is much less important than hers. Which is nice, for a fucking change.



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