4:33 p.m. - 2012-05-14
All the newspapers had headlines like, "Rising Star By Day, Serial Killer By Night" and articles retracing M's career, his recent trip to German at the invitation of German newspapers because of his brilliance creating the 21st century newsroom inn the US (true) and the sudden disappearance of German women during his time there (not true to my knowledge...)
There was an editorial or op-ed or something that said, "This is what you get when you raise a boy to be a preacher," and blamed M's fundamentalist Christian upbringing for his becoming a serial killer. It said he became a killer due to the conflict between his "authentic self and desires" and the self he was reqired to project to the world...
(I have wondered if this conflict is at the roots of his porn obsession and cheating ... but I really don't buy it...)
All the newspapers were suggesting I was in on it and wondering when I would be arrested too -- "How could she not have known?"
And I was wondering the same thing. Had I known? Was it my fault that he had been killing for as long as he had? I had this feeling that I had known, and that I was as guilty as he was.