8:49 p.m. - 2012-04-03
HE POOPED ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER!!
It's 7:30 in the morning, I'm feeding the kids breakfast; I'm about to wash a couple of dirty cups that were in the sink and I notice this strange THING on the counter right net to my coffee maker.
It looked like a soggy, muddy bird's nest at first glance and I figured it was something Mar had found outdoors.
I asked her what it was and she stared at me blankly.
Then my brain registered that there was corn in the nasty soggy thing, and Cashy had a lot of corn at dinner yesterday.
When I screamed, "HE POOPED ON MY COUNTER!!!" and jumped back three feet involuntarily, and dropped the cup I was holding, both of my children stopped eating their cereal and looked at me.
Then Marley said sternly, "You're not supposed to poop on the counter, Cashy."
And Cashy said, "Poop counter!"
Then he laughed.
And then he waved his spoon around in the air like he was doing a victory dance and began to chant, "Poop! Counter! Poop! Counter! Poop! Counter!"
I got down on my knees, eye level with him, and made my parenting textbook eye contact and serious face.
"Cashy, you are not allowed to poop on the counter."
"Not awwow?"
"Noooo."
"No?"
"No. I don't like it when you poop on the counter. It's really really gross. Please don't do that again."
"Gross?"
"You need to poop in the potty. That's where poop is supposed to go."
"Potty?"
"Yes."
They both go back to eating their cereal. I break out the paper towels and the bleach.
Cashy spent much of the morning chanting, "poop counter, poop poop counter, poop counter !" in a sweet little singsong voice.
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