8:16 p.m. - 2012-03-04
This has the potential to be very, very, very funny.
About a week ago, the woman I call "The Horse" -- the woman my husband is dating -- sent me a long e-mail about the fact that our daughters are no longer allowed to see each other. Going back a little bit, the one thing that I asked of Matt was, if he was going to have relationships with other women, that he not let those whores around my children. He promised, and then proceeded to break that promise many, many times. I'd find out from my daughter, who'd tell me how much Lily's mommy and her daddy love each other, etc...
This finally ended when I blackmailed him with his old X-box, which he gave to me with a viewing history full of child porn.
Mar, my daughter, has really missed lili, and I guess lili has really missed her, because her mother sent me an e-mail asking me to reconsider my ban on my children spending time with her. She also told me that she never meant to wreck my marriage, that matt had told her from day 1 that a divorce was "in the works," etc -- this is very different from how matt has portrayed her to me -- she pursued him, didn't care if he was married, kept sending him dirty pictures and begging to get back together when he tried to break it off... this is why I have always hated her.
But Matt has lied to me so much over the past couple of years that I believe he was probably lying to me about her pursuing him, and that she's telling the truth about his claims that he was as good as divorced.
So I changed my mind about the kid playing together -- if she's not a pursuing homewrecker, what right do I have to hate her -- and we agreed to meet for coffee today to talk.
I had something very specific that I have felt I should specific that I wanted to tell her and have felt that I should tell her -- about the x-box and the times before that that I've caught M viewing child porn. She has a 5-year-old daughter.
To make a long story short, I discovered that the woman I have hated for two or three years is actually really ... likeable. She's very sweet. Better yet, she's started catching Matt in lies and noticed how self-obsessed he is, and I think she is going to dump him -- even before she found out that he views child porn and we compared notes on the lies he's told both of us and the way he's maniupulated both of us and attacked our self-esteem in order to control us.
I really really hope she dumps him -- no. 1 because I want him to experience a fraction of the hurt and aloneness that I've felt, and 2) because I think I want her as a friend.
And maybe more?
Because, get this. She's bisexual. She's had relationships with women before -- she says she's still sort of in love with a woman in Seattle. She said that if she breaks up with Matt, she'll probably go back to dating women. I said, "Date me!" and I was joking; I thought she was too, but after we talked a little more I realized she wasn't.
I think I've always been attracted to women but I've always dated men, because they're the ones pursuing me. Plus, it seems like I'm only attracted to straight women. You know how hard it is to find Mr. Right; how hard is to find Ms. Right when nine out of 10 women are heterosexual? I figured it was a lost cause. I don't even have the first clue how to meet a woman of THAT pursuasion.
Well, I just met one.
And you know what? She looks pretty damn straight to me. hee-hee.
Oh, wouldn't that be the funniest if Matt's wife and girlfriend cut him out of the picture and started dating each other? That would be perfect. Beyond beautiful. Especially since he has always liked the idea of watching lesbians do whatever lesbians do -- it would be just awesome if it was his wife, and his girlfriend, and he knew, but couldn't watch... now, THAT would be revenge.
Is she thinking what I'm thinking? Well, we joked about it -- and she said she really doesn't understand why both of us have spent so long being attached to Matt and putting up with his shit. When there have go to be other things out there.
She also told me at least twice that she thinks I'm very attractive -- that I intimidate her because I'm gorgeous, that I can wear anything because I'm beautifiul, that she can't see how Matt could make me feel undesirable because I'm gorgeous. I am not gorgeous, but I think it's a good sign if she thinks I'm attractive, right?
She is ... she is sort of cute and pretty. She is a little shorter than I am, maybe 5 feet, and slim but curvy. She has really beautiful blue eyes and straight brown hair to her chin, and small hands and feet. Cute, very cute ...
I invited her to my house for a play date and coffee; she accepted although we did not set a day.
I really, really hope she dumps him.
Dump him, J. Dump him. Dump him!! There are better options out there!!